if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
