do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
