He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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