I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
