know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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