ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
