I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
