Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
