Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
it glows. i had to have it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
