You're so nebulous sometimes
Your dad touched me again.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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