I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize