We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
