I'd wear matching sweaters with you
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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