i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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