Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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