i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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