Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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