Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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