is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
