Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
