I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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