You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
