i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
