like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I should be sponsored by Trojan
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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