Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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