I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So vagazzling was a success
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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