North Korea, Best Korea!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
