3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
