We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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