i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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