so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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