she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
