Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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