tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
