Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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