You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
