what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize