if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
