no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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