I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
