I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize