remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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