Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
