We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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