would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
