i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
