I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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