I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
