I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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