I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
