Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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