i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
