Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
