make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize