What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
