i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
