you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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