Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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