ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
