are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
