Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
