Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize