There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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