I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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