Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
