those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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