dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
