I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
