I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Welp...herpes.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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