4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
