Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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