That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
