And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize