I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
