Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
