we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The police scanner is talking about you again....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
