I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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