He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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