Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
