there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize