Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I need a burrito and a hug.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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