We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
