I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize