I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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