We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize